Showing posts with label Arranged marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arranged marriage. Show all posts

Friday, August 3, 2012

Love Marriage vs Arranged marriage

It is believed that arranged marriages came in vogue long ago when childhood marriage was there in India. Since loving or dating remained taboos at that time the arranged marriages ruled the roost and the question of a quality comparison with love marriage arose only in recent times. Even now the love marriages are far less than the arranged ones for any valid comparison between them.

The love marriage is not actually a preferred or possible choice in India as, unlike in the west,  dating, loving and marrying are not the traditional process here. The love, like a lightning on the mid-night sea strikes accidentally on some unfortunate victim and it may or may not go all the way to marriage. Besides, the society does not also view kindly of falling in love.

 More than the background of arranged marriages or love marriages, the question is which system, the arranged marriage or a self chosen marriage is good for a happy married life.

 In the first place, it is to be mentioned that neither all the love marriages remain full of love end to end nor all arranged marriages go loveless in its course.  There are many shades between black and white and each marriage is unique in its own way.

The love between two youngsters have a general tendency to fall short of  parents' expectations and if the ‘errors’ are really big the love birds have to defy parents and marry on their own which would make the couple’s life tense and the married life has to be extra satisfying  for them to compensate the stress. In India the cast, religion and  social status are the main mis matching factors.  As the love is blind there are chances for differences in age, wealth, cast, religion or social standing and in due course those things can snow-ball in to big emotional issues in the course of marriage, upsetting the life they dreamed of.  It requires determination, will power and abiding love to come out of  such irritants and carry on life happily in love marriages.

There are many stories of couples who kept the flame of love alive against all such odds and also there are tragic tales of people who found married life intolerable afterwards. Any way the 'revolutionary' love marriages are not intended for the weak and no man or woman should  jump blindly in to a relation ship.

 When it comes to arranged marriage, it offers the best of both systems while eliminating the vices in the process. In the first place, there is  parental and social blessing for the couple which is important to start a big thing like married life. The cast, religion, status etc are taken care of while fixing the marriage. The boy and the girl must have liked each other before agreeing to the marriage and no one prevents them from developing it in to a veritable love-life before the brief spell to the marriage and the youngsters indeed make the most out of it spending a lot of money for mobile recharge. In older times it was not feasible in the absence of proper communication facilities. The arranged marriages also offer a chance to come out of engagement if any serious issues cropped up. With all those advantages with it, an arranged marriage should not fail to deliver but the divorce cases are aplenty in there also.

(There is also a third and most harmless alternative.. to remain single. I think it is also a choice eminently worthy of consideration for those who find it interesting. )

 The Indian middle class is moving towards the west and love marriages are likely to increase in the days to come regardless of the advantages of an arranged marriage or the short comings of love marriage.

 When a marriage busts it is the love factor that fails. At the end of the day what matters is the depth of love, ability to adjust and mutual compatibility that decides the fate of a marriage irrespective of the way the couple got married.

Images: Google